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Today's Family Magazine

MOMMY CHRONICLES: Decisions, Decisions

By Stacy Turner

Grandma enjoys shopping and when my daughters were young, she’d have a ball hitting the mall with some of her besties to pick out fancy dresses for them.  She’d select several for each in preparation for our visit prior to the Easter or Christmas holidays.  Some dresses she loved, and others she selected based on what she thought they’d each prefer.  Rarely did she select the same dress for each of them, knowing that big sis didn’t like to match little sis.

At some point during the visit, the girls would have a fashion show for Grandma, trying on each dress, taking turns striking a pose on the raised brick fireplace hearth that served as a stage in her living room.  Often, before she even removed a dress from the hanger, my older daughter would make up her mind.  “Cut the tags off – I like this one.”  We’d get her to hold off with the scissors until she could try it on to make sure it fit.  She’d put it on, turn in a circle so Grandma could see.  She’d grudgingly try on the others to appease us.  Most times, she’d triumphantly return to her first choice, but every so often, she’d swerve and select a new favorite, realizing that sometimes, the first choice isn’t always the best one.  

Little sis, however, would take her own sweet time deciding.  For her, even the selection of which dress to try on first required careful consideration.  She’d lay them out on the bed side by side, scrutinizing each for color and style before selecting the first one to try on.  She’d feel the fabric to make sure it wasn’t too scratchy, an immediate disqualifier.  When she finally tried a dress on, she watched our faces, trying to gauge our preferences.  Then she’d head into Grandma’s bedroom to consult the full-length mirror for her own assessment.  After careful consideration of every option, she’d eventually make her choice. 

As grown-ups, we make so many decisions each day – both consciously and unconsciously.  Some we can make quickly, but others require thoughtful consideration.  It may seem like a small thing to give our little ones the opportunity to make a choice, even if it’s what to wear or what to eat.  While these decisions certainly aren’t life-changing, they give our kids the opportunity to learn to decide for themselves. 

Could they wear that special bathing suit they love so much instead of fuzzy pajamas on a cool night?  Sure, but it probably won’t be as warm and comfy.  Let them wear the bright red ladybug boots to run errands on a hot summer day.  When they trade them later for flip flops, they may learn that even though you can do something, it may not be the best option for that moment in time.

Each little choice we empower our kids to make helps them learn how to make decisions, and to come to terms with the result.  Whether they’re quick to choose or are more of a slow decider doesn’t really matter, if they’re comfortable with the outcome. 

So, take your time considering those options.  Or don’t.  Just make sure to try it on before you cut the tags off.