By Terri Lilga

When I chose to become an elementary school educator, teaching kids became not just my profession but my passion for thirty years.  Each fall, I welcomed a new class of students—some timid, some bold, most somewhere in between.  My greatest joy was nurturing their love for learning and watching them grow.  As the school year progressed, I guided their academic, intellectual, and personal development to the best of my ability, using the “best practice” models I was taught in college and refined through collaboration with fellow teachers.

Together, we celebrated both personal and classroom victories, and overcame challenges—academic, social, and sometimes behavioral.  In addition to core academic skills, I emphasized collaborative learning, critical thinking, and creative problem-solving.  At the end of each school year, I took pride in knowing my students were not only academically successful but also more confident, mature, and independent.

However, there was always an additional layer of learning—one much trickier to teach yet equally essential:  social and emotional learning (SEL).  This involves fostering social awareness and relationship skills, with leadership being the umbrella encompassing qualities like kindness, compassion, teamwork, empathy, and inclusion.

The problem was that “best practice” models were not widely available to integrate SEL into daily lessons.  Teaching social and emotional intelligence wasn’t always considered a formal part of children’s academic education.  The common assumption was, “Isn’t that what the school social worker does?” or “Don’t kids learn these ‘soft skills’ at home?”

So, why does leadership matter? Why do kindness, compassion, and empathy matter?  And why is it crucial that we, both inside and outside the classroom, collaborate to teach and reinforce these values in children?

It matters because we live in an increasingly complex world where these attributes are often scarce.  Today’s kids are growing up in a society that, too often, values self-interest over empathy.  This entitlement mindset encourages children to prioritize their own needs above others, which can lead to selfishness, resentment, low self-esteem, and even anger.  This trend prevents children from developing healthy relationships and essential conflict-resolution skills.  Worse, it makes it harder for them to grow into emotionally grounded adults who lead fulfilling lives.

If we want children to become compassionate leaders, we need to actively teach these values.  Leadership, kindness, and empathy are not optional but vital to creating a better society.  We must help our children understand that true leadership is about more than success or power—it’s about contributing positively to the lives of others.

Three game-changing tips to foster leadership and kindness in kids
Here are three essential strategies for fostering leadership and kindness in children, based on my years of experience and insights gained:

Model compassionate leadership: Children learn by example.  Look for authentic “teachable moments” to demonstrate kindness and empathy in everyday actions, whether it’s offering a helping hand, sharing an encouraging smile, or resolving conflicts with understanding.  Talk to your children about acts of kindness you observe in the world around you, like at a grocery store or on the news—especially if it involves other kids showing compassionate leadership.

Encourage teamwork and inclusion:  Create opportunities for children to work in teams and emphasize the importance of including everyone.  Teach them that true leaders lift others up and create environments where everyone feels valued.  Encourage discussions around their team-based activities, whether in sports, band, or other groups, to assess whether they observe leadership and inclusion in action.

 Celebrate acts of kindness: Reinforce kind behavior by celebrating it. A simple thank-you, sharing stories of kindness with family, or even small rewards can help children understand that true leadership is about making a positive impact on others.  Make it a family tradition to share how each person gave or received kindness during their day.

As we continue to raise the next generation, let’s remember that leadership and kindness are inseparable.  In today’s world, we need compassionate leaders more than ever—people who will use their influence to uplift others.  By modeling these values for our children, fostering teamwork, and celebrating their acts of kindness, we are shaping the future.

After a fulfilling thirty-year career as an elementary school teacher in the same school district she graduated from, Terri Lilga rekindled her early passion for writing children’s literature. 

Her first children’s book, "Santa's Simon," was inspired by her desire to write a Christmas book with a unique twist, but mostly to highlight a message of faith, courage, and the transformational power of kindness. Available at Amazon.com.