HUMOR: The great booger excavation
Ah, children. They are tiny, sticky, chaos machines who defy the laws of hygiene with Olympic-level enthusiasm. If you’ve ever spent time with a small child, you’ve undoubtedly witnessed one of the greatest unsolved mysteries of human behavior: the irresistible urge to mine for nose gold.
It starts early—too early. Before they can walk, talk, or even understand that the cat does not, in fact, enjoy being licked, children discover that their index finger is a perfect spelunking tool for nasal exploration. And once they figure it out, there's no turning back.
The scientific appeal
Why do kids love nose-picking? Some say it's curiosity. Others suggest it’s an innate desire to recycle natural resources. The truth is, kids pick their noses for the same reason people binge-watch reality TV—it’s disgusting, oddly satisfying, and they can’t stop.
To a child, a booger isn’t a gross bodily excretion. It’s a mystery, a treasure, an experiment. “What is this strange, sticky substance?” they wonder. “Why does it change color? Can I flick it farther than my last one? What happens if I stick it to the couch?” These are the questions that haunt the minds of our youth.
The social minefield
Every parent has experienced the sheer horror of their child digging for nostril gold in public. Maybe it was in church, at a family dinner, or worse—at a school play while they were standing front and center.
And let’s not forget the pièce de résistance: when the child, caught in the act, decides that the most logical next step is to eat it.
At that moment, time slows down. Parents lock eyes across the room, silently wondering if it is too late to put this one back.
Despite the sheer volume of times we say, “Get your finger out of your nose!” children simply do not care. Why? Because their tiny, developing brains have already assessed the situation and have decided “this is a battle I am willing to fight to the death.”
The forbidden snack
If there's one thing kids love more than nose-picking, it’s snacking on the results. Science has yet to explain why children, who gag at the mere sight of a green bean, will happily ingest something they just dug out of their own nasal passages. Maybe it’s the thrill of the forbidden. Maybe it's a survival instinct from caveman days. Or maybe it’s just because they know it horrifies adults.
Regardless, parents everywhere have mastered the art of a soft mid-air slap, the desperate tissue grab, and the frantic, “SPIT IT OUT!” command—usually followed by the soul-crushing realization that it’s already too late.
Hope for the future?
Thankfully, most kids outgrow their nose-picking phase by the time they realize their peers find it gross. Until then, parents must endure the battle, armed only with tissues, hand sanitizer, and the fervent hope that their child won’t be “that kid” in kindergarten.
Until then, we must accept that nose-picking is a childhood rite of passage—one that is, unfortunately, still happening in the backseat of your car right now.
~Article by Jeannine Todd
~ Photo: Adobe Stock/Lightfield Studios
It starts early—too early. Before they can walk, talk, or even understand that the cat does not, in fact, enjoy being licked, children discover that their index finger is a perfect spelunking tool for nasal exploration. And once they figure it out, there's no turning back.
The scientific appeal
Why do kids love nose-picking? Some say it's curiosity. Others suggest it’s an innate desire to recycle natural resources. The truth is, kids pick their noses for the same reason people binge-watch reality TV—it’s disgusting, oddly satisfying, and they can’t stop.
To a child, a booger isn’t a gross bodily excretion. It’s a mystery, a treasure, an experiment. “What is this strange, sticky substance?” they wonder. “Why does it change color? Can I flick it farther than my last one? What happens if I stick it to the couch?” These are the questions that haunt the minds of our youth.
The social minefield
Every parent has experienced the sheer horror of their child digging for nostril gold in public. Maybe it was in church, at a family dinner, or worse—at a school play while they were standing front and center.
And let’s not forget the pièce de résistance: when the child, caught in the act, decides that the most logical next step is to eat it.
At that moment, time slows down. Parents lock eyes across the room, silently wondering if it is too late to put this one back.
Despite the sheer volume of times we say, “Get your finger out of your nose!” children simply do not care. Why? Because their tiny, developing brains have already assessed the situation and have decided “this is a battle I am willing to fight to the death.”
The forbidden snack
If there's one thing kids love more than nose-picking, it’s snacking on the results. Science has yet to explain why children, who gag at the mere sight of a green bean, will happily ingest something they just dug out of their own nasal passages. Maybe it’s the thrill of the forbidden. Maybe it's a survival instinct from caveman days. Or maybe it’s just because they know it horrifies adults.
Regardless, parents everywhere have mastered the art of a soft mid-air slap, the desperate tissue grab, and the frantic, “SPIT IT OUT!” command—usually followed by the soul-crushing realization that it’s already too late.
Hope for the future?
Thankfully, most kids outgrow their nose-picking phase by the time they realize their peers find it gross. Until then, parents must endure the battle, armed only with tissues, hand sanitizer, and the fervent hope that their child won’t be “that kid” in kindergarten.
Until then, we must accept that nose-picking is a childhood rite of passage—one that is, unfortunately, still happening in the backseat of your car right now.
~Article by Jeannine Todd
~ Photo: Adobe Stock/Lightfield Studios