After Labor Day, we all settle into our new routines. With kids back to school and parents back to normal work schedules, the fall can feel like the start of a brand-new year. If you have multiple kids in outside activities, however, you may not be thrilled to be thrust back into the hectic pace of getting everyone where they need to be, fed and with the right sports equipment and/or musical instruments to the right place at the right time.

Sometimes, in the heat of hectic times like these, we might be a little less gracious to our kids. This is when our helpful reminders can turn into unhelpful nagging. Sometimes when we’ve had a bad day at work, we come home and take it out on our spouse, even though they may have also had a bad day as well. Sometimes, extended family members make demands of our time and resources without regard for our well-being. Sometimes we’re even irritated by perfect strangers when they get in our way when we’re running late. Sometimes we’re also hard on ourselves, when we can’t seem to just get past that situation, or that setback, or that loss. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in our own little worlds and forget that others may be going through difficulties too. That reminds me of an old saying that if we each throw our problems in a pile and see everyone else’s, we’ll pick our own back up. 

I was reminded of this while helping at a school event with several other parents recently. It was a rite of passage at an interactive game center. The kids were thrilled to be celebrating the end of an era that heralded the start of their high school years. After spending several hours with sugared- up, boisterous kids, loud noises and flashing lights, the other volunteers and I were more than ready for parents to arrive to collect their kids, so we could take our own and go home. 

Then one parent arrived intoxicated and started arguing with the security officer. While his son looked on embarrassed, the situation escalated. Eventually, the father was taken away in a police car, while someone contacted the boy’s extended family to come and pick him up. Meanwhile, the rest of us tried to distract the remaining kids with video games and laser tag, aware that we couldn’t erase the boy’s memory of seeing dad handcuffed and placed in the back of a patrol car. I learned later that his parents were in the middle of a messy split, and no one in the family was handling it very well. 

Here’s the thing: We have no idea what’s going on in the lives of those around us. We’re all struggling in one way or another. But we’re all in this together. So why am I sharing this now, at the start of a new school year? Right now, it’s easy to focus on all the things that need to happen, should not happen, and everything that may have gone wrong in our own little worlds. 

But what if we would each just pause for a moment? What if we could just set aside the things that are bothering us to take inventory of all that has gone well. Just close our eyes, sit quietly, and breathe slowly…in…and out…until our inhalations and exhalations are the same length. When we finally open our eyes, we may find that those burdens suddenly don’t seem quite so heavy. And we may find that we’re able to look past ourselves into the lives of those around us with a bit more grace.