Adults spend a lot of time trying to teach kids how the world works. Kids, meanwhile, are quietly developing their own system. It’s surprisingly consistent—and often hilarious.

For example, a toy that hasn’t been touched in six months becomes priceless the exact moment you consider giving it away.

Water tastes dramatically different depending on which parent poured it. The same goes for toast, apples, and anything cut into the “wrong” shape.

Fairness is a very serious matter. If a sibling gets even slightly more of something—one extra cracker, a bigger scoop of ice cream—the entire justice system has failed.

The word later means “ask again in 30 seconds.”

Car rides trigger instant biological emergencies. A child who had no interest in the bathroom suddenly cannot survive another mile.

Parents’ food is always better, even when it is literally the same food from the same pan.

Privacy is suspicious. Whisper to another adult and someone under four feet tall will immediately appear to ask, “What are you talking about?”

The color of the cup absolutely affects the taste of the drink.

The dentist is terrifying, but a loose tooth must be wiggled 4,000 times a day.

Children can remember something unfair that happened in 2019 but cannot remember where they put their shoes five minutes ago.

And perhaps the most reliable rule of kid logic: the moment a parent finally sits down, a child will remember something extremely important they forgot to mention all day.

Kids may not follow adult logic yet—but their system works perfectly well for them. And if we’re being honest, life might be a little less fun if it didn’t.

~Article by Dan Miller

Coming in April – Parent Logic: The Things Moms and Dads Know Are True