By Dan Miller, Today’s Family

The backpack is packed. The new shoes are by the door. You’ve taken the obligatory first-day-of-school photo, complete with a nervous smile and a sign announcing your child’s grade.

Then Monday morning comes. Your child complains of a stomachache.

You reassure them, get them off to school, and by that evening they’re laughing, playing outside, and acting like their usual self.

The next morning, the stomachache returns.

By Wednesday, there are tears before school. Thursday brings another headache. Every morning seems to bring a new reason not to go to school, yet every afternoon your child seems perfectly fine.

As a parent, it’s confusing.

Are they really sick? Are they simply trying to avoid school? Is this just part of adjusting to a new school year, or is something more going on?

The answer is often reassuring. Feeling nervous about a new school year is completely normal. Meeting a new teacher, navigating unfamiliar classrooms, making new friends, or worrying about fitting in can leave even confident children feeling uneasy. For most kids, those butterflies gradually fade as the school routine becomes familiar.

But sometimes those worries don’t go away. Instead, they begin showing up in ways parents don’t always recognize.

Anxiety doesn’t always look like anxiety
When adults think about anxiety, they often picture someone who is obviously worried or frightened. Children, however, don’t always express their feelings that way.

Instead, anxiety often shows up through physical complaints or changes in behavior.

A child who is anxious may suddenly complain of frequent headaches or stomachaches before school. They may have trouble falling asleep, become unusually clingy, ask the same reassuring questions over and over, or seem unusually irritable over small problems. Some children become very quiet, while others appear angry or defiant.

“Children don’t always have the words to tell us they’re anxious,” says pediatrician Dr. Shelly Senders. “Sometimes their bodies or their behavior speak first.”

Not all worry is bad
Believe it or not, a certain amount of anxiety serves an important purpose.

Dr. Senders notes that those nervous feelings before the first day of school, a big test, or sports tryouts reflect a surge of adrenalin which dilates airways pushing extra oxygen into the brain to clear mental fog, stimulates the liver to release stored glucose (blood sugar) to give muscles a rapid energy boost and increases heart rate and blood pressure to push blood to muscles and make responses sharper. “A little bit of nervousness can actually help children focus and stay alert.” Those feelings usually fade as school routines become familiar and confidence grows.

Parents often worry because their child seems upset in the moment. But temporary nervousness doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong.

The key is whether those worries gradually improve with time.

If your child gradually settles into the school routine, begins making friends, and returns to their usual personality after the first few weeks, chances are they’re simply adjusting to something new.

When the worries don’t fade
For most children, the butterflies begin to settle as the school routine becomes familiar. The questions become less frequent, the morning stomachaches disappear, and school gradually starts to feel normal again.

But if your child is still struggling after the first few weeks of school—or the worries seem to be growing instead of fading—it may be more than a temporary adjustment.

If anxiety begins interfering with everyday life, it’s worth having a conversation with your child’s pediatrician.

Some signs to watch for include:
• Frequent requests to stay home from school
• Ongoing headaches or stomachaches without a medical explanation
• Trouble sleeping because of worry
• Avoiding friends or activities they once enjoyed
• Extreme fear of making mistakes
• Constant reassurance-seeking
• Anxiety that continues to affect family life or daily routines 

Dr. Senders explains, “Our goal isn’t to eliminate all anxious feelings. Life will always bring challenges. We want children to learn that they can face those feelings and discover that they are stronger than they realized and that they truly can do almost anything.”

How parents can help
Parents naturally want to make the fear disappear. Sometimes, however, the best first response isn’t offering solutions.

Instead of saying, “You’re okay,” try saying “You’ll be okay.”

Instead of saying, “There’s nothing wrong with your tummy”, try saying, “It must be scary sometimes to go to school by yourself”. 

Instead of saying, “Go to sleep”, try saying “Lets talk about your day.” 

Children often feel calmer simply knowing someone understands what they’re experiencing.

Parents can also help by keeping school routines predictable, getting enough sleep before school starts, limiting last-minute morning stress, and celebrating small successes during those first few weeks.

Most importantly, resist the urge to let anxiety make all the decisions. While it’s natural to want to protect your child, confidence grows by facing challenges one step at a time—not by avoiding every uncomfortable situation.

Trust your instincts
No one knows your child better than you do.

If something feels different this year—if the worries seem bigger, last longer, or begin affecting your child’s daily life—it’s perfectly appropriate to ask questions.

Dr. Senders encourages parents not to wait until things become overwhelming.

“We’d much rather have a reassuring conversation early than have a family struggle alone for months,” he says. “Parents know their children best, and if their instincts tell them something isn’t right, we want to hear about it.”

The beginning of a school year brings change for every family. For most children, the butterflies disappear as new routines become familiar.

For others, those butterflies may need a little extra support.

Either way, one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is knowing someone is there to listen, encourage, and remind them they don’t have to face their worries alone.

Senders Pediatrics is located at 2054 South Green Road in South Euclid. To schedule an appointment, call 216-291-9210 or visit senderspediatrics.com for more information.