By Dan Miller, Today's Family

There’s something wonderfully strange about Halloween. Children who insist there is a monster under the bed suddenly want to walk through a yard filled with skeletons, ghosts and glowing eyes. They beg to hear spooky stories, watch scary movies and visit haunted houses — then occasionally spend the ride home insisting they weren’t scared at all.

So why can being frightened actually be fun?

One reason is that Halloween offers children a safe kind of fear. Their heart may race when a motion-activated witch suddenly screams, but somewhere in the back of their mind they know Mom or Dad is nearby and the witch runs on batteries.

That difference between real danger and make-believe lets children experience the physical excitement of fear without actually being threatened. There’s anticipation, a sudden scare and then relief — often followed by laughter and the desire to do it again.

Fear itself is also a normal part of childhood. According to the Child Mind Institute, a nonprofit organization focused on children’s mental health and learning disorders, “Being afraid sometimes is a normal, healthy part of growing up.” Learning to manage ordinary fears can help children develop confidence and self-regulation.

Halloween gives them plenty of opportunities to practice. A child may cautiously approach a spooky porch, discover that the skeleton isn’t real and leave clutching a miniature Snickers and feeling considerably braver than when the journey began.

Pretend play adds another layer. Costumes allow children to temporarily become the very things that might normally frighten them — witches, monsters, ghosts or superheroes capable of defeating all three. Psychologist Kathryn L. Keough, PhD, of the Child Mind Institute notes that dressing up encourages imagination while requiring children to think from another character’s perspective.

Of course, there’s a big difference between fun-scared and genuinely terrified. Very young children may have difficulty separating fantasy from reality, and children with anxiety or sensory sensitivities can find Halloween decorations, masks and loud noises overwhelming. Experts recommend following the child’s lead rather than forcing a scary experience because adults think it should be fun.

That may be the real secret to Halloween fear: Kids enjoy being scared when they still feel in control. They can hide their eyes during the spooky part, hold a parent’s hand or decide they’ve had enough.

And five minutes later, of course, they may ask to do it again.